How to Torment Your Third Grader, ver. 1

It's Homecoming week in our school distric. Alyssa's school is doing Spirit Week in conjunction with homecoming.

Today is rock star day.

Being Supermom, I had NOTHING. So, I delegated. Told Roger to whip her up a guitar. He made an AWESOME one from a tennis racket, cardboard, zip ties, pink spray paint, and a sharpie. Seriously. Awesome. She loved it. The other two requested guitars of their own (NOPE! Only have one lousy tennis racket! SORRY!).

That left me with the outfit. At 7:15am. And we leave the house at 7:45am, hahahaha.

Found a pair of old tights that are too short for her long legs. Cut the feet off to make stripey leggings. Cut the toes off the feet and then cut a slit for her thumb to make "fingerless" gloves that matched the leggings. Put a denim skirt with rhinestone rainbows and a striped shirt on, used curl gel in her hair and sprayed it all over with gold glitter, added bright red lipstick, and VOILA! Third grade rock star!!

Told her to tell people her hit single is "I'm a 3rd Grade Math Star But Mi Speling Stinx", but she said no. Granted, it loses something in the saying vs typing it out, but whatever.

SO... given that today is choir morning, I drive them all to school, then wait with Alyssa for her bus. She sees some of the other kids who ride the bus and wants to go over, but wants me to walk with her. No problem. I'm looking my finest myself in jeans, flipflops, an old race shirt (halloween!), glasses, and unbrushed hair tied in a knot. Stellar!! The kids tell her she looks great. I ask if she wants me to stay or go - she mumbles she doesn't care. So I ask again, cuz with her you need a DEFINITE answer or whatever you do is wrong cuz she really does care. Third time she mumbles at me, I grab her guitar, throw my keys down, and start leaping around, pretending to play the guitar and singing "SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO NOW??" at the top of my lungs.

And complete with dancing.

She asked me to leave. hahahahahahaha Her friends, however, all thought it was funny!! The teacher on duty just about wet her pants laughing. The one dad standing there with his boys looked like he didn't know what to think (poor guy... I think I scared him!!).

I think secretly she enjoyed it though.